Lately I've had to fight the urge to spend money frivolously. All I want to do is go to the grocery store and buy steak, fancy cheese, good wine, some avocados. Heck, I really just want to buy some turkey and provolone and make a sandwich. After that, I want to go to the local mall and buy about 4 dresses, new shoes, and new jeans. All stuff I don't "need" at all I just "want"
The truth is, I wish I was above these selfish feelings. When I look around me, I see people who make it with so much less than I have. They didn't grow up with the luxuries that I have had and they don't have the emotional and financial support from their families that I have always had. I am only human though, so it's natural to have some selfish desires.
After 10 months of this however, I am just tired. I'm burnt out. I am getting so tired of being on such a tight budget. The reality I have to face though, is that I am going to be on a tight budget for awhile. Maybe not as tight, and maybe not for the next decade. But realistically, I will have to budget tightly for some time. For comfort, I keep telling myself that all of this budgeting and stressing about money will make me appreciate money when I have it. It will make me be smart with money when I have it. If I can make the little money I'm making now stretch so far, I will be able to make more money stretch even farther.
I just hope that's true and that this experience will truly prove to be as beneficial as I want it to be.
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